Thursday 19 May 2011

THIS BITCH IS CRAZY, SHE'S LIVING IT

Gaga certainly doesn't reek of originality. Yet she definitely reeks of virtuosity and workmanship. Whilst one can sit and compare her to many of the greats, now is now, and Gaga is Gaga. Both minute yet prodigious, she has an UNDOUBTABLY hot bod. She's no regulation hottie. Infact, quite the opposite. She's like a rare steak. If you're into it, its the only way. If not, its almost vulgar. Similar to her choice of outfits...

Everything Lady Gaga is about is unobtainable. Her fashion is as random. Her thoughts are contingent. She can never be a too much of a current fashion influence because whilst someone will be butchering away at some cows, she's already fashioned a jacket of a hundred Kermits. If this is all a facade, the rest of us are being pretty tardy.

But, it doesnt even matter if you dont love her. SHE WAS BORN THIS WAY.

Friday 28 May 2010

U LIKE?

I've never felt 100% comfotable playing 'What u Like'.

Memory Jog:



When I played it at my daytime DJ slot at Topman, an angry man stalked towards me and hissed 'there are children in here'



My Mom came over one Sunday night and I was banging out the Major Lazer album... (standard Sunday evening) ... Lets just say she said the same thing about 'What U Like' as she said about the 'difficult' scenes in Lynch's 'Blue Velvet'

And yet, I've never been more comfortable listening to anything in relation to its surroundings as I did listening to 'What U Like' at the Major Lazer in the Village Underground.

Huge warehouse: check
Huge PA: check
Huge crowd: check
Huge party vibes: check
Huge cocks: check (if you get me... sorry Mom, thank you Slutever)


A very dubstep heavy set, Major Lazer was all about the PARTY. Two dancers, a ladder, blow up lazers and Ace of Bases' 'All that She Wants' featured. I did spend part of the show worrying for the safety of the two dancers who were daggering on giant speakers. But I was enjoying the immense Mash Up of Major Lazer to care too much. I realised more than ever before that Pon De Floor truly is a modern day classic. No question. The infectious beat is so good, they played it twice.

Apart from sweating as much as I imagine Peter Kay sweats on a day to day basis... It truly was an absolute Hoot.

My only regret: I wasnt right at the front #pussy #deadinside

I'm going to leave you guys with a quote:

Diplo "Errrr waking up on a flight witha giant boner is not as cool as it sounds"

MAJOR LAZER I LOVE YOU.



c.xx

Tuesday 11 May 2010

Matt Gurning.

This weekend, I went to my first ever ATP. At the prestigious place, located: Butlins, Minehead, I met a real life legend.

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Oops. Not that one//////////

This one:

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Just to clear things up before we get started, Matt Groening was not gurning/grinding in anyway (wish the latter). ATP is just a bit 'gurn' if you get me. Before I left, a friend (who doesn't want to be named) said, and I quote:

"Who's even playing? Well, whatever... I guess it's not really about the music."

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Alright mate.


Anyway. I could sit and write about how many SUPER AWESOME bands I saw (which I did) and how my crush on Joanna Newsom is getting TOTALLY out of hand now (fuck, why is her hair so amazing) and how Spritualized had 30 people on stage (my favourite being the gospel section, back right hand of the stage) and how Iggy was amazing although I think he's cut Gordon Ramsey's face off and stuck it to his bingo wings (I'm not joking).

But I'm just too excited and need to boast that I really am the luckiest girl ALIVE. EVER.

Matt Groening drew me.

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Apart from the fact I look a tiny bit like I'm fashioning a goaty/bumfluff look, this really has made my year.


You can find me on Twitter if you want to send any fan mail. www.twitter.com./cherishkaya
I might change my URL to www.twitter.com/IT'S_CHERISH_SIMPSON

Now, better get back to my internet shopping.

http://www.fancydress.com/costumes/Facial-Hair/2~346~7?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=fake%20beards&utm_campaign=Accessories

c.x

Monday 12 April 2010

BEEP BEEP

Last night featured the debut of 'IT'.

And no... I'm not talking about this:

"the study, design, development, implementation, support or management of computer-based information systems, particularly software applications and..."

I'm talking about this:






I mean, I've seen a lot of scary films...

From

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to

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(Lord, that face makes me shudder)

to

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(yes everyone, that is Lohan in 'I Know Who Killed Me')



...but 'IT' really got me. I don't know whether it was Tim Curry's splendid performance, or the disappearance of sweet Georgie's squeezable cheeks...

All I know is that I can't handle 'IT'. Just like I can't handle this the size of Coleen and Rooney's baby's head...


Right. Back to work. (NB: Gaga in mirror is my favourite)




c.x

Monday 29 March 2010

CONK

Entering a large empty room with a collection of 'rude boi's' in one corner made the ordeal of my first EVER interview even worse. Picture me, walking down to meet Tinie knees wobbling as much as Misha Barton's cellulite, thinking to myself 'play it coool... MAN he's hot.'

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Here's what happened:

Hey Patrick (I did my research)

It's Tinie

Tinie Patrick?

Nah, just Tinie

(Told me)

Then something along the lines of this:

How did you become part of this exhibition?
Chris’s people and The Tate got in touch with me. They gave me a couple of books to read up on about where Chris has come from and that, and then invited me down to see the exhibition. Obviously I’d read about the No Woman No Cry picture and then I got to see it. What happened to Stephen Lawrence was a big thing in our community and the whole country. Then I wrote a free style about it.

How does it feel to be number one?
It feels good. I’m just happy that the track has touched so many people who have felt the need to go out and buy it,

Even though ‘Wifey’ was number one in the urban charts for ten weeks?
Yeah you kind of notice the differences in how much it affects the public. When Wifey was in the charts I’d go to certain places and there’d be pandemonium. But now it’s in the national charts you go everywhere and everyone’s really reacting to the track on a word for word background.

You’ve come from a kind of underground background, do you think you’ve sold out a bit signing to a major?
No! Never. Never at all.

Are you working on your album now?
Yes, it’s called The Discovery. I’m working on it with several producers – Labyrinth, who worked on Pass Out has a couple of tracks on there. Expect the unexpected, I’m definitely going to try and get some other people on there.

How many G-shock watches do you really have?
A million…hahah!
(he's probably got a special wardrobe for them, IN HIS AUNTS HOUSE)

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Interview called to a halt, Tinie had to get on stage. Hanna (my big sis, arranger of interview) comes over slaps me on the back and says 'Well done', beams at Tinie and says 'Aw, that was her first ever interview.' I was as red as that G-shock.

Tinie 'Aw, I could tell you were nervous, *like talking to a small child* how old are you *would you like a lolly face*'

Me '19. WHY, HOW OLD ARE YOU?'

Tinie '21'

We could so work.

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I could even be his




OK THAT WAS ONE OBVIOUS.

c.x

Wednesday 10 March 2010

DITTY.

A year and a day ago, I thought to myself 'You know what would be really great?... If I wrote a blog.'

I've had equally successful thoughts in the past... 'You know what would be really great?... If they made a sequel to Speed! (starring Sandra Bullock).'

Then I realised they had. Speed II: Cruise Control.

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Only kidding, the first was f****** s*** as well.




Over this past year, some pretty important things have happened that this neglected blog have missed out on.
Here's a quick summary.
No.1 (obvs)

Lady Gaga

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Top of the charts on both sides of the Atlantic: check.
Fake(?) penis down trousers in photo shoot: check.
Not one, but TWO duets with the other greatest popstar in the world, Beyonce: check. (Sorry Ke$ha. Maybe next year)

No.2

Twitter

(Favourite Tweeter @heidimontag ("peace, love, joy, hope!")

No.3

This lil guy

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No.4

This song



No.5:

This album

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Short summary of some of the things that were missed.
In a hurry to carry on yawn raping my cat (see no.3) but I'm going to try to not be a stranger to this blog anymore.

c.x

Wednesday 2 September 2009

Feeling Crummy.

I woke up today feeling as bad as Jackie Stallone's plastic surgery. Just incase anyone has forgotten quite how shocking that is, here you go:

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I figured that the best thing to do was look at some nice happy pictures.

Exhibit A

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Exhibit B

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Another good way is to watch films such as The Breed, Final Destination and The Last Gateway because these people are worse off than I am. My cure: lemsip, honey, a couple of chapters of New Moon and a couple of episodes of Nighty Night. The group of 'fun-lovin' youths in The Breed have to go rock climbing with arrows sticking out of their legs to get away from the scary dogs... And the poor kid in The Last Gateway (see trailer below) has a door to hell hiding in his tummy.

It's not ALL that bad.(?)




c.xx