REMINISCE

Christian and I weren't working out.
I actually can't handle being single.



Mood: Tiresome
To do: Reminisce

Free time isn't always good. Right now, I'm sitting in my room eagerly awaiting for my 15.40 opticians appointment to come.

WOW. What a life.


Although, what HAS happened today, which really has been SUPER exciting, is that i received my little 'dongle'. No... this isn't a retarded dildo for single ladies. It's the internet in a stick. YES! A little stick of internet. This means I can browse the web whilst doing the following things:

1) Harassing neighbours' cats because I'm not responsible enough to have my own
2) Polishing my taxidermy: shark in a jar, crocodile's head, chicken foot
3) Eating jacket potato, cheese and beans in my favourite cafe: Cafe Open (aka Ian Beale's toilet)

What is worrying me though, is that I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't join Twitter. My lack of Twitter, (which I hear is the latest craze! Obama and Lynch are LOVIN' it) is making me feel like I'm missing out on something really important. Like when you nap during the day and wake up and its all dark and you feel all funny because the apocalypse and been and gone and YOU missed out.

But... I read an article about a website called Affluence.org. They describe it as 'facebook for the filthy rich'. You can only join Affluence if you can prove you have a net worth of £2million or an annual income of £214,000... SO, basically, I'm restraining my cyber cravings for the day I become a millionaire. As an old friend once told me, "I won't be one of the hangers on unless I have ACHIEVED something." Wise words. Truly wise words.

But yeah... my favourite thing about Affluence is that instead of 'poking' people, you send them a 'hand shake'. Maybe, one day, when I'm not a dirty commoner, I'll be able to smile broadly and give someone a 'hand shake', instead of my usual spit and poke.




Spending this quality time with myself has allowed me to moisten my musical flannel and review some TUNES.
My most played TUNE this week is definitely: The Big Pink, Velvet. I literally can't get enough.
Followed by a classic that was buried between 'Sugarbabes' and 'Tahnee and Cherish' in my itunes: System of a Down, Chop Suey. Daron Malakian and Serj Tankian=amazing. Now, thats Achievement.


For your enjoyment.
Have a little sing along, you know you want to.

c.xx

Cogitate

At last. I have a new boyfriend. This is us.

Mood today: Nostalgic

Things to do today: Cogitate 

In a rather nostalgic mood today. Not unlikely as rolling around the country in a tin can on wheels (a.k.a Ipso Wagon(wheel) ) leaves you with lots of spare time to sit and stew and cogitate on things. 

Example: 

Choice of music on my ipod to pass the journey today=Slipknot. Nice and relaxing. 

It's truly amazing how many various voices Corey Taylor has.

1) Nasal melodic voice

2) Loud melodic, properly projected voice

3) Seductive low rapping 

4) Standard angry shout/roar

5) Breathy whisper

6) Growl 

Makes Mariah look INEXPERT

One thought leads to another memory...

Humming along to Duality reminded me of the time Ipso Facto DJ'ed at the Magazine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magazine_(band) )after party in Manchester. If your wondering how in hell Slipknot and Magazine could possibly be related, I'll explain all. 

So, I thought it might be a BIT funny to play a complete prog set to a crowd of balding old punks basking in their excitement (keep in mind, most of them had been holding their breath for 30 odd years, literally, for Magazine to reform). I began my task. 

Song number 1: King Crimson, 21st Century Schizoid Man (current song playing on ipod now)

The dance floor cleared. Compared to the previous 'boogie-able' song (Blondie, Atomic) this obviously came as a bit of a shock. For some WEIRD reason, none of them were prepared to mime the 8 second drum fills or hum along to all 7 minutes 23 seconds of the legendary song. People started looking angry, even upset. A murmur of confusion and rage spread through the audience. 

OK. So, I thought I'd be a little kinder. Only Kidding.

Song number 2: Van Der Graaf Generator, Theme One. Only ten minutes into the set and things got a little out of hand. After an encouraging pat on the back from a friend, one man came over (thankfully the DJ booth was conveniently situated high up so he could only peer his receding head over the decks to talk to me).  His words, not mine "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" I pretended I couldn't hear him and smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He gave me the finger and walked off. Lovely bloke. 

By this time, I was properly (prog)rocking out, thoroughly enjoying my choice of song. After a wee dance, I thought it might be nice to bring the P-A-R-T-Y up a notch or two. SO, i threw Britney's Spears' Toxic in there. Still NO pleased ears. Back to prog.

Song number 3: Emerson, Lake and Palmer, The Three Fates. I had little remorse. After watching BBC documentary Prog Rock Britannia which mentioned that punk ruined prog (shit mate) and the old guy from Egg cries a little bit, I decided I just had to do it for him. And maybe Emerson, although he's bullocks now (sorry Keith). All of the Magazine fans were horrified. Just to help you paint the picture, I was as happy as the daughter in Father of the Bride (Annie Banks, actress: Kimberly Williams) and everyone else wanted to kill me/and/or themselves. I wanted to put the cherry on top of this beautiful experience. DEAFEN some eardrums. Drop some jaws. What better to round off my set then..... Slip(sic)knot. CUE, Duality. 

Thankyou Corey. 

I had to leave out the back door. 

Knock yourself out. 

c.xx.