Matt Gurning.

This weekend, I went to my first ever ATP. At the prestigious place, located: Butlins, Minehead, I met a real life legend.



Oops. Not that one//////////

This one:



Just to clear things up before we get started, Matt Groening was not gurning/grinding in anyway (wish the latter). ATP is just a bit 'gurn' if you get me. Before I left, a friend (who doesn't want to be named) said, and I quote:

"Who's even playing? Well, whatever... I guess it's not really about the music."



Alright mate.


Anyway. I could sit and write about how many SUPER AWESOME bands I saw (which I did) and how my crush on Joanna Newsom is getting TOTALLY out of hand now (fuck, why is her hair so amazing) and how Spritualized had 30 people on stage (my favourite being the gospel section, back right hand of the stage) and how Iggy was amazing although I think he's cut Gordon Ramsey's face off and stuck it to his bingo wings (I'm not joking).

But I'm just too excited and need to boast that I really am the luckiest girl ALIVE. EVER.

Matt Groening drew me.



Apart from the fact I look a tiny bit like I'm fashioning a goaty/bumfluff look, this really has made my year.


You can find me on Twitter if you want to send any fan mail. www.twitter.com./cherishkaya
I might change my URL to www.twitter.com/IT'S_CHERISH_SIMPSON

Now, better get back to my internet shopping.

http://www.fancydress.com/costumes/Facial-Hair/2~346~7?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=fake%20beards&utm_campaign=Accessories

c.x

BEEP BEEP

Last night featured the debut of 'IT'.

And no... I'm not talking about this:

"the study, design, development, implementation, support or management of computer-based information systems, particularly software applications and..."

I'm talking about this:






I mean, I've seen a lot of scary films...

From



to



(Lord, that face makes me shudder)

to



(yes everyone, that is Lohan in 'I Know Who Killed Me')



...but 'IT' really got me. I don't know whether it was Tim Curry's splendid performance, or the disappearance of sweet Georgie's squeezable cheeks...

All I know is that I can't handle 'IT'. Just like I can't handle this the size of Coleen and Rooney's baby's head...


Right. Back to work. (NB: Gaga in mirror is my favourite)




c.x

CONK

Entering a large empty room with a collection of 'rude boi's' in one corner made the ordeal of my first EVER interview even worse. Picture me, walking down to meet Tinie knees wobbling as much as Misha Barton's cellulite, thinking to myself 'play it coool... MAN he's hot.'



Here's what happened:

Hey Patrick (I did my research)

It's Tinie

Tinie Patrick?

Nah, just Tinie

(Told me)

Then something along the lines of this:

How did you become part of this exhibition?
Chris’s people and The Tate got in touch with me. They gave me a couple of books to read up on about where Chris has come from and that, and then invited me down to see the exhibition. Obviously I’d read about the No Woman No Cry picture and then I got to see it. What happened to Stephen Lawrence was a big thing in our community and the whole country. Then I wrote a free style about it.

How does it feel to be number one?
It feels good. I’m just happy that the track has touched so many people who have felt the need to go out and buy it,

Even though ‘Wifey’ was number one in the urban charts for ten weeks?
Yeah you kind of notice the differences in how much it affects the public. When Wifey was in the charts I’d go to certain places and there’d be pandemonium. But now it’s in the national charts you go everywhere and everyone’s really reacting to the track on a word for word background.

You’ve come from a kind of underground background, do you think you’ve sold out a bit signing to a major?
No! Never. Never at all.

Are you working on your album now?
Yes, it’s called The Discovery. I’m working on it with several producers – Labyrinth, who worked on Pass Out has a couple of tracks on there. Expect the unexpected, I’m definitely going to try and get some other people on there.

How many G-shock watches do you really have?
A million…hahah!
(he's probably got a special wardrobe for them, IN HIS AUNTS HOUSE)





Interview called to a halt, Tinie had to get on stage. Hanna (my big sis, arranger of interview) comes over slaps me on the back and says 'Well done', beams at Tinie and says 'Aw, that was her first ever interview.' I was as red as that G-shock.

Tinie 'Aw, I could tell you were nervous, *like talking to a small child* how old are you *would you like a lolly face*'

Me '19. WHY, HOW OLD ARE YOU?'

Tinie '21'

We could so work.




I could even be his




OK THAT WAS ONE OBVIOUS.

c.x

DITTY.

A year and a day ago, I thought to myself 'You know what would be really great?... If I wrote a blog.'

I've had equally successful thoughts in the past... 'You know what would be really great?... If they made a sequel to Speed! (starring Sandra Bullock).'

Then I realised they had. Speed II: Cruise Control.



Only kidding, the first was f****** s*** as well.




Over this past year, some pretty important things have happened that this neglected blog have missed out on.
Here's a quick summary.
No.1 (obvs)

Lady Gaga



Top of the charts on both sides of the Atlantic: check.
Fake(?) penis down trousers in photo shoot: check.
Not one, but TWO duets with the other greatest popstar in the world, Beyonce: check. (Sorry Ke$ha. Maybe next year)

No.2

Twitter

(Favourite Tweeter @heidimontag ("peace, love, joy, hope!")

No.3

This lil guy



No.4

This song



No.5:

This album




Short summary of some of the things that were missed.
In a hurry to carry on yawn raping my cat (see no.3) but I'm going to try to not be a stranger to this blog anymore.

c.x

Feeling Crummy.

I woke up today feeling as bad as Jackie Stallone's plastic surgery. Just incase anyone has forgotten quite how shocking that is, here you go:



I figured that the best thing to do was look at some nice happy pictures.

Exhibit A



Exhibit B



Another good way is to watch films such as The Breed, Final Destination and The Last Gateway because these people are worse off than I am. My cure: lemsip, honey, a couple of chapters of New Moon and a couple of episodes of Nighty Night. The group of 'fun-lovin' youths in The Breed have to go rock climbing with arrows sticking out of their legs to get away from the scary dogs... And the poor kid in The Last Gateway (see trailer below) has a door to hell hiding in his tummy.

It's not ALL that bad.(?)




c.xx

Brief.

I'm worried that I'm wasting the rare witty remarks that pop into my head on @Twitter.
I mean... it's not like I'm a naturally funny gal, like Dawn French. Although...



I think I need to change my hair.

RETROSPECT

Mood: Enervated
To do: Interlude

Ronan Keating was right all along.



Life is a Roller Coaster. This blog is literally the only stable thing in my life at the moment.


This month has been a musically bounteous one.

From Glasto and Blur

to MJ "R.I.P"



and not forgetting Take That



If I wasn't such a wilting coward, I'd talk about 'cool' bands thats 'rocked' Glastonbury and openly criticise how Carl Barat is SO 2002. (Despite his massive comeback at Glasto '09: come 8.00am Sunday morning, equipped with acoustic guitar, singing What a Fuckin' Waster.. super glad i didn't miss that).

Instead. I'm going to write a smallish review to saturate your minds and tell you about the show of the decade. TT.
Sitting somewhat strategically next to Jason Orange's twin brother (J.O being my definite fave) my Mother and I got to enjoy a truly stupendous show. The Circus.

Lady Gaga opened the show. And her legs. It was the second time I'd seen her that week. The second time round I could see more of her face. The first time round she forgot to put knickers on. And also forgot the month... 'Hello Glastonbury, its the 26th of July, I'm Lady Gaga..' June Gags... June.

Now, more importantly, TAKE THAT. I was utterly shocked at how supple 3 out of 4 member were (Barlow, not so much). They even had skills such as:
riding tricycles
holding a leg up to an ear
using their supple hips to create snake like wiggles

I could even go far enough to say these men still have the (se)X factor. (Barlow, Owen, not so much).

The first half of the show held the delights of watching them perform their all time classic 'Back for Good'. What seemed like a giant sprinkler was aimed at the stage. It set the scene:



A giant blow up 'circus ringmaster' dominated the stage in the second half. I wasn't sure if the excitement had made me delirious or the overpriced beer had travelled faster to my head then usual, but to me... it just looked like an inflatable Michael Jackson.


As the show slowly drew to an end, I turned to see J.O's brother crying with happiness and a small child crying in fear at the giant inflatable MJ.

It was Beautiful.




c.xx